Why Insight Isn’t Enough: Moving from Understanding to Embodied Change
Gaining insight into our behaviors, like why we people-please, struggle to set boundaries, or stay stuck in unhealthy cycles is a big step in the healing process. Understanding the "why" behind our actions can feel empowering and eye-opening. It sheds light on what’s been happening beneath the surface.
But for many people, especially those who’ve experienced complex or interpersonal trauma, insight alone doesn’t create lasting change. It’s one thing to know what needs to change, but actually making those changes can feel like an entirely different challenge. This is the point where many people get stuck, between knowing and doing.
The Value of Insight
Yes, insight is crucial. It's that moment when you think, “Ah, that’s why I do that,” or “Now I see where this behavior comes from.” It’s powerful because it brings understanding, and with that, a sense of control over your life.
But here’s the thing: Insight is just the starting point. Knowing why you’re stuck in a pattern doesn’t automatically free you from it.
Why Insight Alone Isn’t Enough
Insight without action is like having a map but never starting the journey. You might know where you want to go, but if you don’t take steps forward, you stay in the same place. Here’s what that might look like:
Understanding people-pleasing: You might realize that your tendency to say yes comes from a fear of conflict or rejection, but still find yourself agreeing to things out of habit or anxiety.
Acknowledging hypervigilance: You might be aware that you're always on guard, scanning for danger, but still find it hard to relax or feel safe.
Recognizing codependency: You may understand that your codependency stems from feeling responsible for fixing other people’s problems, but still struggle to step back from those roles, fearing that setting boundaries might hurt those you care about, make you feel guilty, or worse- make you feel like a bad person.
Bridging the Gap: From Insight to Action
So how do you move from just understanding these patterns to actually changing them? Here are some key steps:
Develop self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself as you work on making changes. These patterns didn’t form overnight, they were survival mechanisms. Unlearning them takes time.
Start small: Focus on making small, manageable changes. If you realize you're a people-pleaser, start by practicing saying no in low-pressure situations.
Reconnect with your body: Trauma often disconnects us from our bodies. Practices like mindfulness, deep breathing, or gentle movement can help you go beyond intellectual understanding and start feeling these changes in your body.
Find support: You don’t have to do this alone. Whether through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends, having people to support and hold you accountable can make all the difference.
The Importance of Embodiment
True change happens when insight meets action. It’s not enough to just know why you do what you do, you need to start doing things differently. This process of bringing your insights into your everyday life, of making those changes real, is what we call embodiment. And that is where real transformation begins.
Finding Support on Your Journey
If you’ve gained insight into your patterns but still feel stuck, you’re not alone. Moving from understanding to action can be tough, especially when you’re trying to figure it out on your own. Whether through therapy, mindfulness practices, or connecting with others on a similar path, finding the right support is key.
Remember, growth is a process. Every small step you take toward living out the changes you want brings you closer to the life you want to live. Surround yourself with the right resources and community, and trust that with time, those small steps add up. You don’t have to go through it alone.
About the Author
Samantha Grimaldi, MS, LPC, is a licensed therapist and the owner of CoCreate Healing Center in Tinton Falls, NJ. With a focus on trauma recovery, Samantha specializes in working with complex trauma and interpersonal trauma using Polyvagal Theory, Mindful Self-Compassion, and trauma-informed care. Through her practice, she helps clients reconnect with their bodies, regulate their nervous systems, and build emotional resilience. Samantha is passionate about supporting others on their healing journey and providing a safe, collaborative space for growth and transformation.
